“First Look”
Debate
You’ve had that moment in all of your wedding day dreams: You walk down the aisle and you’re looking at your partner looking at you. Beautiful. Ready. Both full of nerves and magic. They cry, you cry, and all of your favorite people get to be there in that moment with you. And they’re probably crying too. That is always the moment that your imagination takes you to when you think about that day. But then you hear about the “First Look.” A new movement that gives you that moment in a whole new way. More intimate, more private, but just as meaningful. And now you wonder: Is that the moment for us?
I know, I know. “Not another wedding decision to make!” You just meticulously chose every flower in your bouquets and all of your mini taco fillings for cocktail hour, and now here you are, altering the course of your day dreams. As with most everything in life, there are advantages to both having a first look, and waiting for that ceremony moment. Wedding decision making can already be so brutally hard, and this is the moment we’re talking about. Let me break the first look down to help you find the right fit, and the right feeling, just for you. Here’s the scoop on both options:
The First Look
Who does it suit?
If the thought of all of those eyes on you during your first steps down the aisle gives you the nervous sweats and sends lightning bolts through your stomach, a first look might be right for you. Maybe you don’t like surprises. Maybe you’re a little more private, a little more open to being real, and a little more likely to show emotion without worrying about who else is watching. Or maybe you just want those first moments, first feelings, to belong to just the two of you. Sometimes seeing each other before the ceremony helps ease those pre-wedding jitters, and you head into the ceremony as a team. It gives you that special time that only you (and your photographers hiding in the bushes) will see and feel. Your last moments before marriage, the first moments of your big day, and a little bit of magic to remember on your many anniversaries.
Is the ceremony/walking down the aisle still special?
I have photographed many first looks, and I will say that in general, if the big emotions show during the first look, they show again at the ceremony. People have told me that seeing their partner walk down the aisle is a totally different and real experience, so for them, seeing them during the first look didn’t take anything away during the ceremony. Just more moments for the memory bank.
Wait it Out
If every time your mind wanders to your wedding, you envision that tale-as-old-as-time moment where you see each other for the first time from opposite ends of the aisle, and you just can’t shake that traditional feeling, the ceremony moment might be for you. Waiting until the ceremony is a great option for people who value tradition, since it’s not a moment that can be recreated. It could be important to the traditional side of you, or it could be that it means everything to your Grandma who wants nothing more than to be there to share in that moment, and letting her in on that really means something to you. For some people, tradition is everything, and there’s a reason for it. You might find more peace and confidence in those traditions, even in front of a group of people. When that moment is just the way you’ve always pictured it, you’ll only see each other, even in a sea of other faces. It could also be that your friends and family have been a big part of your journey as a couple, so you really want to share this with all of them. Or maybe you’ve always loved a limelight and this is your time to shine. All eyes on you, baby.
Scheduling
Without the first look, photographs are only about half-way done after the ceremony. Once it ends, you’ll get family shots, and then head somewhere with the wedding party to get group photos at a nearby beauty of a location. Generally, the guests will wait for a couple of hours, but this is pretty commonplace for weddings. Guests will entertain themselves while mixing, mingling, and naturally, boozing. It also amps up the crowd, and their anticipation of your return will allow for a pretty spectacular grand entrance. Maybe on a glitter pony! Or to your favorite Notorious B.I.G. song. Or maybe your MC will just shout out the wedding party’s names in their best gameshow host voice. Again with the choices.
Happy choosing! If you want my vote, I pick glitter pony and Notorious B.I.G. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t have it all.